These four walls.....

I do alot to acheive the Michele, to reach her in better health, in sobriety, and mental health. I have been doing this for over 7 years. Now of course it was necessary to do something, the condition I was in was in, extremely out of control. Some would say, homicidal, suicidal, and full blown nuts from no psychological care. I reached the boiling point, the mix of alcohol and drugs was just a way for me to get help. Well, detox, treatment, AA, mental health, group therapy, many of them, and 7 years of therapy, and now I sit here, in these four walls. I think sometimes time sits still, life is moving around me, and Im just in my own world doing my thing, and everybody else is running the world. I am not a part of, just an observer watching all of you, do what you do, and me well Im still in progress. So I go to parks and observe nature, take my picture, get in touch with my inner child, do all the things I have heard somewhere, lord knows I have been to enough groups, spoke in enough sessions, and listened in enough meetings. I know many changes have occured in me since that day I entered that detox bed, but its this feeling I get still, these four walls, I want them to feel like comfort, not like I gotta get up and go do something. I wanna just sit, and read a book. Be with Michele, she has been through enough, listened for a long time and now I just want to be in my four walls and become the girl that doesn't feel interrupted. I want to feel like having coffee over with a few people and enjoy the chatter of whatever it may be in these four walls!