Sunday, August 26, 2012

Doctors seat...

I never went to the doctors, I wanna tell you it was out of trust, part of that was true but the biggest reason, fear. For out of nowhere I couldn't go so I stopped, I wanna say it was 20. I think it was that dumb ass dentist that stopped in mid procedure and said" I can't finish pulling this tooth, your crying to much Michele" Are you  kidding me!!! Blood was leaking around the tooth, and here I am emotional enough about the procedure now I blood filling in my mouth. So I drive myself to the nearest hospital and in to yanks its out! Two different doctors, one had no problem, laid me back told me it was going to be ok, asked me what classes I was in and Bam! its out. Now with my dentist who I saw on a regular basis, couldn't finish the procedure, is he meeting the standard level of care? Was this acceptable what he did? I used this example because it scarred me for a long time, and it is for perfect to use what is happening to me now damn full circle!!!  Moving on into the future.....almost 20 years later, it took me to go back to a doctor, I decided to get a primary care doctor. This was a huge fear that I faced, putting faith in this profession again, to people who will have me in their hands, omg!! Ok Im not going into my life story but alot has happened between that point, and I did get on disability for bipolar, you do need to know that it will come into play.  So I get my first everything with him even my first papsmere, yuk! So there I did it. Then I get on that medicine at many took, noone knew how it would react,  Acutane. I was desparate. It wasn't a pimple here and there, I had cystic acne and these were so painful they would get underneath my arms , in my groin area, so when it was suggested that it would work, of course I said please! Now I have other health issues , so the primary care doctor, the administrator, and psyciatrist are suppose to watch this drug and the blood work very closely, hand and hand they said. I thought this must be very strong but they are doctors, they are taking my blood, give these doctors a chance, your at a hospital, this on a computer, so they all should be connected, no worries. Dont ever trust someone that much!!!!!! You will learn later why!  In November at a dinner party, my neck out of nowhere, had limited movement. It felt like someone put a tight glove over it. I was so scared, I never felt pain before in my life, not once. I thought it was a chiropractic issue, you know its your neck, so I called my old therapist, who was also a chiropractor. Now there was not much she could do but diagnose the problem, didnt know that, I thought she could adjust it, but since i wasnt her client its against the law, but she told me to go my doctor and have him look me over and then see what he says to make sure. I did just that. I didnt see anyone at first for my problem he gave me some high dose tylenol and sent me on my way. I was in tears, he said i could be stressed out, he didnt feel anything wrong, there is nowhere he can send me and this was the first time I heard this from him but I would hear this many more times " are you on your period". Now what the hell does that have to do with my neck I have no idea but for some reason that came out of his mouth.  This was the beginning of my pain and when it started and I started to feel more and more, finally he said " I can send you to a chiropractor i dont know if that will help" , he always made me feel like it was all in my head. He did say many times for me to get ahold of my self, My emotions got the best of myself, " you need another anti depressant, your moods are unstable". Very cold about. He wasnt a psychiatrist he was my doctor suppose to treat this pain which was never diagnosed until three years later, in 10 minutes by another doctor touched in the same places he did when I laid down in the same position, she had the same table he did too. I had asked for a referral to see RA doctor for a long time, he said you dont have arthitis, I told him I have this pain, at least to be checked out something is wrong. I tested positive for a RA factor over two years ago, to him that didnt mean anything, I was a too sensivtive, finally getting to the point a month ago I demanded a referral, I got it, and no he was right I dont have RA, I have fibromyalgia!!!  Had that SOB let me go two years ago when I asked, I would found out, had he took me seriously and not wrote me off as some bipolar nut on the period I would have received the treatment I deserved long ago and not suffered in pain for over two years. Ohh and the chiropractor he sent me to, I told her I was not getting better, something is wrong, she adjusted me, pushed on those same spots to, do they not know what fibromyalgia is either or was she just to worried about her meal ticket, because every time she pushed in the same spots the doctor did it sore and I told her that. After three years you go to a chiroprator and its getting worse, she doesnt think to say " something else is wrong michele you need to get checked out" Trust noone !!! Now I am getting a second opinion, even though fibromyalgia makes so much sense now, but a patient like me wouldn't know to look it up, but I  know now to pay attention to every thing, fear nothing, trust nothing!

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