Thursday, June 28, 2012
My friend came to the edge of the pool to catch up on life, we haven't seen each other in awhile. With her was a guy from Germany, at first he sat back out of the sun, and out of our conversation. As Im telling her about my new lifestyle change and that Im a Domme, that's when I hear his first disaproval. Now the guy decides he wants to sit closer and be a part of the conversation. I dont pay him much attention, I say a few things and go back to my friend. Then the guy or shall I say boy, because now that's what he's acting like to get attention, says a man is checking him out from above, but wont admit it, and American male's are sexually repressed and German male's are free and open. When anyone comes from their country to ours, it seems like theirs has a better perspective or a better way of living and ours is sub standard. then the statement that is common and Europe whatever" Americans are stupid" and that when I have to say " why are you here? If your country is so smart, then it makes sense to stay there. I wouldn't leave to come to a place where you think people are stupid. Is this place better than your country? How did that happen if we are so stupid?" I have problem with the pot melting but I have pride in the country and concept, if yours is better, then go home and enjoy it.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
I had a conversation on the phone today, with a friend that knows me well. We spoke of time past, and how I use to message morning "sunshine" and other positive things to everyone for some time. Not everyone was a fan of my text, some didnt want to receive it, him being one. At the time I wrote them I did it because I was going thru a huge change in my life. Being so fragile I needed something to keep up my spirits, little did I know I drove everyone else crazy. We laughed about this on the phone, because I would cry about every emotion I was going thru, now I laugh about every emotion I provoke, and write about. Today I spank someone so hard that they cry, look how the tables have turned. I can say the power of writing does make a difference but many other things have happened too, the conversation brought it to light today.
What a crazy week, Im glad it's coming to a close. Last week I was out of town and it in the middle of nowhere, nice and quiet. Well as soon as I touch ground in the city, people were fighting outside while I was waiting for a cab. The next day I thought why not get on your float and enjoy the pool, well that was interrupted by crosstalk in the deep end with M-Fers and what sex actions took place last night, while lil john was floating ten feet away from me, Nice!! I said a few words to them which increased my lovely welcome back Cincinnati, plus the migraine I get here. Thursday coming from Walmart, on 75 south, out of the corner of my eye I see a deer hopping over the medium on the north side. The words came out my mouth, but going that fast you cant avoid it, so all she could do was slow down and still that didnt prevent her from hitting that deer, and blood getting on the glass, jumping up in the air, going to the right, where how nice for us, we get to see, her last dieing moments. It was awful, and there is a boy in the back watching it with me, its not like you turn away, cause you want to make sure, that either 1. its ok or 2. its dead, no middle ground there. That was the first I had chills with no goosebumps or that I wasnt cold, and this lasted for sometime, and if you dont know 75, this is a major highway where the hell did this deer come from? Im not done, the next day, I was in communication with the girl I went to see in Indiana, via email. I dont care for those btw. A few of them were exchanged, she likes to write, I like to talk, before I knew something went entirely wrong. I wont get into the whole story but a few hours later I got a, we are too different email and cant be together. What is this? Are you kidding me, your breaking up with me thru an email? I sent some emails of course after, I didnt understand what happened, and frankly this week, This was my welcome back to you.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Today I tell people we are here to experience life, not to find our purpose. We dont have that kind of power nor would we want it. Going against the grain, and trying to determine what we are suppose to do, takes a lot of time and wastes energy, I know from personal experience. A few years ago I let go and said whatever happens, happens, and whatever is meant to be, be. I know it sounds like that old song from a time ago, I can't spell it but in says what will be, will be, and that has been me. Which has led me to explore me even more, what I have have truly desired, and that was to spank, and that led to even more which opened another door, ooh wait there's more. Once You go inside there is no turning back, the desire you once had, it wasn't just one, it was just a key to open a door, to give you the ability to see there is more to open, but once your inside and you see you have opened all these doors you wonder, how did I get here?